I have READERS.

(Not an NSS. Trial replacement.) So a Horse walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I'll have a beer." The bartender replies "a talking Horse!? That's new." To which the horse replies "Have you missed the last 50 years of jokes? Tch, you'll be amazed at a chicken walking across the street next"

• 32. I am normally a very Zen person. Not spiritually, I'm just normally upbeat about most things, in a weird way. Kinda a "I know everything around me is shit, but it ain't gonna bother me, bitch. More alcohol" sort of thing. But still, a wave of depression hit me when I discovered Firefly after it had been cancelled. F**k you, Fox. F**K YOU.

So. I just discovered half the hits on this blog I'd assumed were me screwing up and having to re-edit some crap are actually unique visitors.

Duudes. Awesome. Considering over half of that are in Sydney, we should totally all get drunk some day.

... Considering a portion of that is probably people I regularly drink with anyway, not like it'd be a big stretch of the imagination.

Still, I should make an effort to put something in this post worth reading, other then excessive ego stroking.

Some of you may have heard of a game called "Left 4 Dead" (see, it's amusing because they've been left for dead, and there are four of them), a game about survivors trying to pass through zombie territory.

As those of you who know me know, I don't do Zombies. Zombies and me don't get on. If I'm in the same room as a zombie, I have to politely excuse myself from the party, since it just gets REALLY awkward. So you may have guessed that's not why I'm discussing it.

Left 4 Dead has a newly designed AI system called 'The Director'. Rather then having the zombies placed in the same spot on the level every time, it dynamically spawns them in a number of possible locations dependant on how much the players are struggling and how long it's been since they were attacked. If the players are really good and having an easy time, they fight more zombies. If they barely survived the last attack, are nearly out of ammo and just finished off the last zombie, they'll have a few minutes breather.

Why is this incredible?

This, my friends, is a simplified Games Master from Roleplaying games.

Someday someone will make a fantasy sandbox free-form game (a bit like Mount and Blade, but with magic) for something like Dungeons and Dragons, and they will use the Director to control the pace of the game, creating level appropriate quests out of a huge interchangable list of different variables, making it so the player always has things to do in a vast and changing world. Should the player be growing so powerful he has few threats, an entire HORDE of undead will show up on the horizon going "G'day mate", that he has to help a friendly city defeat. Should he be struggling a bit, a friendly NPC will turn up and offer to help him. All arranged by the Director/GM.

When that game is created, I will nerdgasm.

Then I will cry with joy.

Then my salty tears will make me nerdgasm again.