Recently I've had the good fortune of playing three different games that all feature, as a... feature, really, the act of Free-running. This is basically going over and around an Urban environment at great speed by use of acrobatic activities and general agility. For all of them, this free running was a quite important selling point as it allowed rapid transit from point A to point B in an open-world sandbox. When done right, it can alternate between feeling quite relaxing and cathartic, and being a breakneck, fast paced, enjoyable gameplay addition. When done wrong it feels like the game is stretching out the little amount of gameplay present with making you run across the map to do it.
Let's discuss these games on a scale of "semi realistic free-running" to "completely bananas free-running."
Assassin's Creed: Yes. I know I'm about a bajillion miles behind the band wagon. This often happens to me, and it is yet to bother me. Alot of people criticise the repetition of the gameplay, but I'm loving it. Still, I digress from the free-running.
Assassin's Creed is the most realistic (and I believe I stretch the term in saying that) example of Free Running of the three games. Fall far enough and you will get hurt (which gets magically healed over time), you need to find genuine handholds to use to climb (albeit there are LOTS of these handholds all around the place), and it is relatively easy to misjudge a jump when pressed for time (E.G. being followed by three legions of city guard with the intent of face-stabbing you. Whether that's stabbing you in the face, or stabbing you with a face, I haven't decided)
Despite these 'restrictions', it's good fun. Leaping from one side of a street to the other, misjuding slightly and being left dangling by your fingertips from a window, clambering up and continuing on your way adds an element of risk to it all. It feels like a gameplay element rather then just another method of walking from point A to point B. Without considering it you find yourself thinking about the most efficient ways to get to your location, factoring in the speed of climbing up the side of that building versus using the handy ladder on the building across the street, which happens to lead to a hostile archer posted on the roof. It adds another factor to consider that makes the game genuinely more interesting for me.
Infamous: I admit I have only briefly played the game fully, most of my experience is linked with playing the demo (which I believe I got an impressive feel of the free-running from. It's most of what I did in the demo). This is a step along the scale from Assassin's Creed. While in Assassin's Creed you were incredibly fit and agile, none of it seemed genuinely impossible for a sufficiently athletic and trained person to do. Infamous though, has the character step across the threshhold into superhuman territory. It's appropriate, considering the subject matter IS superhuman, but it adds a certain flair to the movement.
However this does sort of work against it a little. The movement is much easier, so in my view it steps it slightly away from gameplay mechanic and moves it towards 'bothersome timeconsuming movement". However, this step is tiny at best and the movement is still incredible. You still need to think a bit (not as much as AC, however) about how you will get from point A to point B, and the game is deliberately designed to make the movement as easy and enjoyable as possible. Try jumping on a very narrow ledge and in the air nudge the movement stick slightly to one side. You'll see the game autocorrect so you land on the ledge rather then plummet. Very handy little device.
So, the final verdict of Infamous movement? Good value, I'm looking forward to getting my hands on the full game.
Prototype: Aaaand collapse. To be honest I was, at times, having trouble distinguishing between Prototype and Infamous during development. Both of them had me excited, being third person action-with-RPG-elements games featuring super-powered main characters locked in a quarantined city surrounded by hostiles, both of the main characters using free-running/'Parkour' (as they specify for Prototype, a French art of moving) to get around the city scape. Prototype is on the Banana's side of the scale, exact opposite of Assassin's Creed.
Unfortunately playing Prototype so far has not excited me. It just hasn't been fun. Avoiding most of the gameplay issues and focusing specifically on the free-running, it can be boiled down to one, single issue.
It. Is. Not. Fun. It doesn't feel like a gameplay mechanic about making decisions that help you, it feels like "Hold down shoulder trigger to move". I find myself holding the shoulder trigger which puts you in 'parkour' mode constantly, never releasing the poor abused little thing. Here's an idea of how ridiculously easy the free-running is.
Hold down Parkour button, run at building, run up side of building indefinately. Seriously, that's what happens. It doesn't feel like Free-Running, it just feels... cheap. It's like I'm cheating, or something. Sure, it looks super-powered (which is the point, I know), but it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like an enjoyable side of the gameplay, it feels like a game mechanic you use to avoid having to think about travel.
Currently Assassin's Creed and Infamous are tying for awesome free-running. When I get Infamous I'll be able to decide which works better.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Misread excitement
God damnit I hate reading things incorrectly.
I read this as "EA combines Mythic and BioWare into making a giant robot RPG"
God. Damn. It.
I want a giant robot RPG now.
P.S. Additional: Russians are crazy.
I read this as "EA combines Mythic and BioWare into making a giant robot RPG"
God. Damn. It.
I want a giant robot RPG now.
P.S. Additional: Russians are crazy.
Monday, June 22, 2009
More SCPs
Well, I got bored. Here's another one of those SCP things I came up with while I was supposed to be working. Enjoy.
Item #: SCP-829
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedure: SCP-829 is to be kept in a 15 foot by 15 foot contained room at site █. During the regular termination cycle of local class D personnel, one individual is to be placed in 829's containment room for feeding. Two guards are to be stationed in the linked security room at all times to monitor SCP-829 for unusual activity. In the event that one of the three security cameras cease to operate, a single class D subject is to be sent into the room as a distraction while technicians replace the camera. Haste is advised in this endeavour. In the event that SCP-829 escapes, personnel are advised to find suitable hiding locations and make as little noise as possible until the danger has passed.
Description: SCP-829 appears to be a six foot tall male of approximately young-adult age. More precise figures are deemed impossible to determine due to the highly advanced degree of necrosis in SCP-829's body. It is unknown how SCP-829 maintains structural integrity or it's substantial strength, since through the many decaying holes in the subjects skin it is clear the internal organs and structures are experiencing similar decay. Every inch of SCP-829's skin looks like it is in an advanced state of rot, although no leftover skin particles have been recovered from the floor of the containment chamber, implying that the SCP is disintegrating at a molecular, or possibly even atomic level.
SCP-829 appears to be indestructable to common assaults, with its only damage coming from the above mentioned necrosis. Despite repeated attempts during the original containment process SCP-829 appears to be unaffected by fire, and even when doused in petrolium and set alight, the flames only remained present long enough for the fuel to burn away, then dissipated with no obvious damage to the SCP. Large calibre bullets fired at SCP-829 do not seem to impact it. Slow motion cameras showing the bullets ceasing to exist moments before they hit the target. Tests have currently been proposed utilising a melee bladed weapon to see if it can pierce SCP-829's skin, or if it will vanish as the bullets do.
SCP-829 possessed advanced strength, more then capable of applying blunt force powerful enough to break through its containment cell. Of greater interest is what research staff are calling its "decaying touch". If any part of it comes into contact with a human being with a functioning heartbeat, the infected area will begin to decay rapidly. This decay will not stretch beyond the location touched, but touching SCP-829 usually involves it attempting to grapple its intended food, and as such is usually fatal anyway. The use of hazmat and other protective gear either has no effect (for 'thin' protective gear) or very little, as it rips the protection off its target in order to feed. Anything thicker then three milimeters is forcibly removed.
There is no evidence of intelligence beyond that of a very basic animal. When SCP-829 is not feeding, it sits or stands quietly in it's cell, apparently dormant. If an individual enters its cell and it is not already busy feeding it will advance at a moderate walking pace on the victim and restrain them for feeding. If it has not been fed at least once in the previous 43 days (the number was established through unfortunate experimentation) it will attempt to escape from its cell by employing blunt force on the nearest wall until containment is compromised and wandering around in an apparently random pattern until a suitable target has been found. If more targets present themselves after initially feeding it will continue this pattern until no more targets are visible, at which point it will once more fall dormant. If SCP-829 is attacked by an unseen assailant it will attempt to search the area for any sign of targets.
SCP-829's senses are below average for a human being. Tests have determined it can only see things at a maximum of fifty feet away (I would attribute this to the state of decay its eyes are in, but to be honest nothing should be able to see through those eyes - Dr █████), and its sense of smell is about average for a human being. SCP-829's hearing is above average, and apparently it is capable of tracking people to a reasonable degree by sound. This is not supernatural to any extent, as it is about as proficient at this as a reasonable modern day sports-hunter. Unusually, mechanical noises do not bother SCP-829 and it has no reaction to them. For example, the sound of a stick being broken inside SCP-829's cell will attract its attention, but the same sound played through a audio-recorder will provoke no reaction at all. Despite its apparently limited intelligence, current theory is that it is working off learnt behaviour, as is the past few months it has learnt to pay attention when the door of its cell opens (this sound always occurs before feeding).
The feeding process is quite visceral. First, the target is physically restrained by SCP-829's - escape before this point is possible due to the relatively slow speed of 829's pursuit, but after being seized it is considered impossible to escape. Areas where SCP-829's skin touches the skin of its target begin to necrosize immediately, rotting at a highly advanced rate. The second stage involves 829 clamping its jaws down upon the target's neck. It is unknown if this must be done upon the neck, but that seems to be its preference. Once this occurs all systems of the target except the circulatory system and enough of the brain to keep the heart pumping seem to shut down and decay at the same advanced rate. This continues for approximately 20 minutes until the body has decayed to the point it can no longer support the circulatory system, at which point SCP-829 appears to lose interest and discard the remains, which continue their rapid decay. Any attempt to interrupt its feeding process will be ignored. Attacks upon it will be ignored, and attempts to forcibly remove from its target will either be ignored, or result in the hands of the remover suffering advanced decay.
For approximately 40 days after feeding, SCP's rate of necrosis halts, and if it has been fed more then a single human adult in those 40 days it appears to reverse very slightly. Experiments to determine how far this reversal would go were discontinued after forty class-D personnel were used with no results in sight.
SCP-829 was located in the middle of ██████ National Park. Agents were dispatched after reports filtered through of ██ unexplained disappearances in the park over the course of ██ years. SCP-829 was secured with acceptable casualties and transported to site █, where it has remained under the study of Dr █████.
Item #: SCP-829
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedure: SCP-829 is to be kept in a 15 foot by 15 foot contained room at site █. During the regular termination cycle of local class D personnel, one individual is to be placed in 829's containment room for feeding. Two guards are to be stationed in the linked security room at all times to monitor SCP-829 for unusual activity. In the event that one of the three security cameras cease to operate, a single class D subject is to be sent into the room as a distraction while technicians replace the camera. Haste is advised in this endeavour. In the event that SCP-829 escapes, personnel are advised to find suitable hiding locations and make as little noise as possible until the danger has passed.
Description: SCP-829 appears to be a six foot tall male of approximately young-adult age. More precise figures are deemed impossible to determine due to the highly advanced degree of necrosis in SCP-829's body. It is unknown how SCP-829 maintains structural integrity or it's substantial strength, since through the many decaying holes in the subjects skin it is clear the internal organs and structures are experiencing similar decay. Every inch of SCP-829's skin looks like it is in an advanced state of rot, although no leftover skin particles have been recovered from the floor of the containment chamber, implying that the SCP is disintegrating at a molecular, or possibly even atomic level.
SCP-829 appears to be indestructable to common assaults, with its only damage coming from the above mentioned necrosis. Despite repeated attempts during the original containment process SCP-829 appears to be unaffected by fire, and even when doused in petrolium and set alight, the flames only remained present long enough for the fuel to burn away, then dissipated with no obvious damage to the SCP. Large calibre bullets fired at SCP-829 do not seem to impact it. Slow motion cameras showing the bullets ceasing to exist moments before they hit the target. Tests have currently been proposed utilising a melee bladed weapon to see if it can pierce SCP-829's skin, or if it will vanish as the bullets do.
SCP-829 possessed advanced strength, more then capable of applying blunt force powerful enough to break through its containment cell. Of greater interest is what research staff are calling its "decaying touch". If any part of it comes into contact with a human being with a functioning heartbeat, the infected area will begin to decay rapidly. This decay will not stretch beyond the location touched, but touching SCP-829 usually involves it attempting to grapple its intended food, and as such is usually fatal anyway. The use of hazmat and other protective gear either has no effect (for 'thin' protective gear) or very little, as it rips the protection off its target in order to feed. Anything thicker then three milimeters is forcibly removed.
There is no evidence of intelligence beyond that of a very basic animal. When SCP-829 is not feeding, it sits or stands quietly in it's cell, apparently dormant. If an individual enters its cell and it is not already busy feeding it will advance at a moderate walking pace on the victim and restrain them for feeding. If it has not been fed at least once in the previous 43 days (the number was established through unfortunate experimentation) it will attempt to escape from its cell by employing blunt force on the nearest wall until containment is compromised and wandering around in an apparently random pattern until a suitable target has been found. If more targets present themselves after initially feeding it will continue this pattern until no more targets are visible, at which point it will once more fall dormant. If SCP-829 is attacked by an unseen assailant it will attempt to search the area for any sign of targets.
SCP-829's senses are below average for a human being. Tests have determined it can only see things at a maximum of fifty feet away (I would attribute this to the state of decay its eyes are in, but to be honest nothing should be able to see through those eyes - Dr █████), and its sense of smell is about average for a human being. SCP-829's hearing is above average, and apparently it is capable of tracking people to a reasonable degree by sound. This is not supernatural to any extent, as it is about as proficient at this as a reasonable modern day sports-hunter. Unusually, mechanical noises do not bother SCP-829 and it has no reaction to them. For example, the sound of a stick being broken inside SCP-829's cell will attract its attention, but the same sound played through a audio-recorder will provoke no reaction at all. Despite its apparently limited intelligence, current theory is that it is working off learnt behaviour, as is the past few months it has learnt to pay attention when the door of its cell opens (this sound always occurs before feeding).
The feeding process is quite visceral. First, the target is physically restrained by SCP-829's - escape before this point is possible due to the relatively slow speed of 829's pursuit, but after being seized it is considered impossible to escape. Areas where SCP-829's skin touches the skin of its target begin to necrosize immediately, rotting at a highly advanced rate. The second stage involves 829 clamping its jaws down upon the target's neck. It is unknown if this must be done upon the neck, but that seems to be its preference. Once this occurs all systems of the target except the circulatory system and enough of the brain to keep the heart pumping seem to shut down and decay at the same advanced rate. This continues for approximately 20 minutes until the body has decayed to the point it can no longer support the circulatory system, at which point SCP-829 appears to lose interest and discard the remains, which continue their rapid decay. Any attempt to interrupt its feeding process will be ignored. Attacks upon it will be ignored, and attempts to forcibly remove from its target will either be ignored, or result in the hands of the remover suffering advanced decay.
For approximately 40 days after feeding, SCP's rate of necrosis halts, and if it has been fed more then a single human adult in those 40 days it appears to reverse very slightly. Experiments to determine how far this reversal would go were discontinued after forty class-D personnel were used with no results in sight.
SCP-829 was located in the middle of ██████ National Park. Agents were dispatched after reports filtered through of ██ unexplained disappearances in the park over the course of ██ years. SCP-829 was secured with acceptable casualties and transported to site █, where it has remained under the study of Dr █████.
Friday, June 19, 2009
SCPs
Bored, hungover, tired. So rather then an actual post, I'm just going to come up with some horrible things that would fit into the SCP site I linked to a while back.
Item #: SCP-736
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedure: SCP-736 is to be kept in a locked drawer in the linguistic research offices of site-19, with keys provided only to approved researchers. A record must be kept of SCP-736 being withdrawn, and who is in possession at all times. In the event SCP-736 is found to be missing, all staff leaving the offices will be searched and all fax machines and scanners are to be turned off.
Description: SCP-736 is a number of missing pages from the Voynich manuscript. It is unknown when they were removed from the book. They were retrieved by the foundation during a raid on one Doctor ███ █████ on September 11th 2004, who at the time was believed to have several SCPs in his possession. As most of his collection turned out to be fakes the retrieved 'artifacts' were stored for later processing. During the course of processing the items, SCP-736 was discovered.
SCP-736 is written in the same manner as the rest of the Voynich manuscript, utilising the same writing techniques and raw materials. These pages were originally located at the very end of the manuscript and consisted of the same message written in the original text's unknown language, an arcaic form of German, and a third, unknown language. In a manner similar to the rosetta stone this has allowed foundation linguistic experts to achieve a basic knowledge of both the unknown language, and the language used in the manuscript.
While the translation of the message is spotty at best, currently held beliefs among the linguists who study it is that it is stating the text is classified and for 'elite' eyes only. It is currently unknown who wrote the warning or who the 'elite' allowed to view the text are. Initial research suggested there was a religious connotation in the text suggesting people without authorization who read it were going to be punished by 'the being above', but later translations corrected this, stating that transgressers would be punished by 'people ranked higher then you'. Most alarming about the message is that it identifies the Voynich manuscript as "(Untranslatable)Volume 4: Plants", implying there are at least three other volumes that may potentially exist.
The punishments for those reading the manuscript are quite severe, ranging from simple death, to torture of various forms, to something current translations list as 'rending of the spirit from the body'.
Utilising SCP-736 efforts are underway to translate the rest of the Voynich manuscript, but the work is proceeding slowly. Current speculation says that the manuscript is a list of flora for another planet. There is some description of the planet's sun that makes it sound like type O blue star. Comparisons between the alien flora and plant-life native to earth are often made, suggesting close familiarity with Earth by the writer.
Item #: SCP-758
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedure: SCP-758 is to be kept in a custom made steel container at all times when not being tested. A clamp sits in the box, which is to be used to secure SCP-758 within the box. The clamp is to only be fastened upon the handle of the SCP. Testing on SCP-758 requires special permission from the OS, and any personnel found with SCP-758 in their possession without permission will be terminated as per standard procedure.
Description: SCP-758 looks for all purposes like a three inch long metal nail file. There are hints of rust along the edges, but otherwise it appears to be indestructable by normal means. No major testing has been done to determine the limits of SCP-758's indestructability. All tests upon the construction of the file indicates it is made of normal steel.
When the flat edge of the file is rubbed against any material at all, no matter the hardness or softness of the material, exactly 0.14 centimeters of the material will be destroyed for each stroke of the file. The list of substances this has been tested upon exists in experiment log 758-003, but this destruction seems constant, no matter the substance or the length of the stroke.
Similarly, when the narrow edge of the file is rubbed against any matterial at all exactly 4.89 centimenters of the material will be destroyed with each stroke. Only the portion of material the file directly touches will be destroyed, and it seems to work equally well on organic material and inorganic material.
It is unknown what process is used in the destruction of the materials. Testing reveals that the substance the file is used upon seems to cease to exist upon having the file rubbed against it. This molecular disintegration has no byproduct of any kind (waste products, heat, energy, etc), and there is no indication in the file of what causes this effect.
Item #: SCP-736
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedure: SCP-736 is to be kept in a locked drawer in the linguistic research offices of site-19, with keys provided only to approved researchers. A record must be kept of SCP-736 being withdrawn, and who is in possession at all times. In the event SCP-736 is found to be missing, all staff leaving the offices will be searched and all fax machines and scanners are to be turned off.
Description: SCP-736 is a number of missing pages from the Voynich manuscript. It is unknown when they were removed from the book. They were retrieved by the foundation during a raid on one Doctor ███ █████ on September 11th 2004, who at the time was believed to have several SCPs in his possession. As most of his collection turned out to be fakes the retrieved 'artifacts' were stored for later processing. During the course of processing the items, SCP-736 was discovered.
SCP-736 is written in the same manner as the rest of the Voynich manuscript, utilising the same writing techniques and raw materials. These pages were originally located at the very end of the manuscript and consisted of the same message written in the original text's unknown language, an arcaic form of German, and a third, unknown language. In a manner similar to the rosetta stone this has allowed foundation linguistic experts to achieve a basic knowledge of both the unknown language, and the language used in the manuscript.
While the translation of the message is spotty at best, currently held beliefs among the linguists who study it is that it is stating the text is classified and for 'elite' eyes only. It is currently unknown who wrote the warning or who the 'elite' allowed to view the text are. Initial research suggested there was a religious connotation in the text suggesting people without authorization who read it were going to be punished by 'the being above', but later translations corrected this, stating that transgressers would be punished by 'people ranked higher then you'. Most alarming about the message is that it identifies the Voynich manuscript as "(Untranslatable)Volume 4: Plants", implying there are at least three other volumes that may potentially exist.
The punishments for those reading the manuscript are quite severe, ranging from simple death, to torture of various forms, to something current translations list as 'rending of the spirit from the body'.
Utilising SCP-736 efforts are underway to translate the rest of the Voynich manuscript, but the work is proceeding slowly. Current speculation says that the manuscript is a list of flora for another planet. There is some description of the planet's sun that makes it sound like type O blue star. Comparisons between the alien flora and plant-life native to earth are often made, suggesting close familiarity with Earth by the writer.
Item #: SCP-758
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedure: SCP-758 is to be kept in a custom made steel container at all times when not being tested. A clamp sits in the box, which is to be used to secure SCP-758 within the box. The clamp is to only be fastened upon the handle of the SCP. Testing on SCP-758 requires special permission from the OS, and any personnel found with SCP-758 in their possession without permission will be terminated as per standard procedure.
Description: SCP-758 looks for all purposes like a three inch long metal nail file. There are hints of rust along the edges, but otherwise it appears to be indestructable by normal means. No major testing has been done to determine the limits of SCP-758's indestructability. All tests upon the construction of the file indicates it is made of normal steel.
When the flat edge of the file is rubbed against any material at all, no matter the hardness or softness of the material, exactly 0.14 centimeters of the material will be destroyed for each stroke of the file. The list of substances this has been tested upon exists in experiment log 758-003, but this destruction seems constant, no matter the substance or the length of the stroke.
Similarly, when the narrow edge of the file is rubbed against any matterial at all exactly 4.89 centimenters of the material will be destroyed with each stroke. Only the portion of material the file directly touches will be destroyed, and it seems to work equally well on organic material and inorganic material.
It is unknown what process is used in the destruction of the materials. Testing reveals that the substance the file is used upon seems to cease to exist upon having the file rubbed against it. This molecular disintegration has no byproduct of any kind (waste products, heat, energy, etc), and there is no indication in the file of what causes this effect.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Of course, Captain America is alive
Attention Marvel Comics:
Fuck. You.
You're bringing Captain Marvel back already. ALREADY. For gods sake, the dude's not even been dead for three years. This is not a 'sensational plot twist', this is not a brave new move in story telling.
This is bullshit. Seriously, here you have the possibility to make a genuinely bold move in story telling, killing off and LEAVING DEAD a major, major character in your continuity. There is a reason it's known as 'comic book death', because there's never any threat to it. There's no threat and impact when a major hero in Marvel (and DC, to be fair) dies, since most of the time they'll be back with a new set of superpowers.
I read a relatively old issue of the X-Men a while ago which had the following exchange between Beast and an evil interdimensional Beast, as best I can remember.
Dark Beast: Nathan Summers may be of help.
Beast: He is dead.
Dark Beast: Still? The Summer's go back and forth so often I felt I had to make sure.
Your own characters are making fun of the "oh no he's dead how tragi-OH LOOK HE'S MAGICALLY ALIVE" nature of the comic book death. This is how completely undermined the massively horrible tragedy of death is.
Marvel, Too-Long-Didn't-Read version: I don't care if you planned it all from the beginning, bringing Steve Rogers back is a cheap move. Grow some testicles, get some testosterone injected, and have the courage to kill a major character in a dramatic moment and KEEP THEM DEAD.
P.S. If I hear ANY rumours that you're going to bring Uncle Ben back to life, I'm going to make you watch the new Punisher movie until you're crying blood.
Fuck. You.
You're bringing Captain Marvel back already. ALREADY. For gods sake, the dude's not even been dead for three years. This is not a 'sensational plot twist', this is not a brave new move in story telling.
This is bullshit. Seriously, here you have the possibility to make a genuinely bold move in story telling, killing off and LEAVING DEAD a major, major character in your continuity. There is a reason it's known as 'comic book death', because there's never any threat to it. There's no threat and impact when a major hero in Marvel (and DC, to be fair) dies, since most of the time they'll be back with a new set of superpowers.
I read a relatively old issue of the X-Men a while ago which had the following exchange between Beast and an evil interdimensional Beast, as best I can remember.
Dark Beast: Nathan Summers may be of help.
Beast: He is dead.
Dark Beast: Still? The Summer's go back and forth so often I felt I had to make sure.
Your own characters are making fun of the "oh no he's dead how tragi-OH LOOK HE'S MAGICALLY ALIVE" nature of the comic book death. This is how completely undermined the massively horrible tragedy of death is.
Marvel, Too-Long-Didn't-Read version: I don't care if you planned it all from the beginning, bringing Steve Rogers back is a cheap move. Grow some testicles, get some testosterone injected, and have the courage to kill a major character in a dramatic moment and KEEP THEM DEAD.
P.S. If I hear ANY rumours that you're going to bring Uncle Ben back to life, I'm going to make you watch the new Punisher movie until you're crying blood.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Filler post
Once again, still not able to make a full post, but I suppose I owe you guys SOMETHING.
Ok, here's a link to something that will rip apart your free time.
The SCP foundation (Secure, Contain, Protect). Basically it's an awesome pretend MIB like group who 'procure' items of supernatural or superscience origin that are either too powerful or too dangerous to be entrusted to the world. Just to give you an idea how horrible the place is, all the hazardous work is done by "Class D personnel". Class D is code for "people we got out of the prison system".
Here are a few of my favourites.
Here, wear this, it'll make you healthy, right up until it turns you into a blob of flesh.
Infectious quartz.
Try not to feel 'ick' after reading this.
They can be quite creepy, too.
But they also have a sense of humour.
Sometimes they're downright AWESOME.
And back to creepy.
And the final one for the night.
And, end on something pretty.
From this guy's blog.
Ok, here's a link to something that will rip apart your free time.
The SCP foundation (Secure, Contain, Protect). Basically it's an awesome pretend MIB like group who 'procure' items of supernatural or superscience origin that are either too powerful or too dangerous to be entrusted to the world. Just to give you an idea how horrible the place is, all the hazardous work is done by "Class D personnel". Class D is code for "people we got out of the prison system".
Here are a few of my favourites.
Here, wear this, it'll make you healthy, right up until it turns you into a blob of flesh.
Infectious quartz.
Try not to feel 'ick' after reading this.
They can be quite creepy, too.
But they also have a sense of humour.
Sometimes they're downright AWESOME.
And back to creepy.
And the final one for the night.
And, end on something pretty.
From this guy's blog.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
No post
Sorry, once again no posts.
Stressed out of my ballsack with Uni Honours work. By this Thursday I need to finish a Research proposal, then by next Monday I need to have finished a 2,500 word critical review of two books, only one of which I've read. OH DANG.
Stressed out of my ballsack with Uni Honours work. By this Thursday I need to finish a Research proposal, then by next Monday I need to have finished a 2,500 word critical review of two books, only one of which I've read. OH DANG.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Gorgeous George
I shouldn't be spreading this around so much, but...
This is just proof I am a bad person. I am laughing at this man's bad fortune, but honestly he seems to deserve it.
Who is this man? Why is he so obnoxious on TV, and why does he receive so many horrible prank calls?
Say hello to Gorgeous George. Please feel free to look at more of the videos about him.
Basically Gorgeous George is like a TV version of Kyle Sandilands but with poor pronunciation (if you're not Australian, you wouldn't know who Kyle Sandilands is. You are one of the lucky ones). I really should not be laughing so hard at all the prank calls, especially since most of them are just people shouting "fag", but some of them... Some of them just have me crying with laughter. I don't know why, but for some reason hearing Gorgeous George shout at the TV 'Alright, time for another call! Line one, you're ont he air' and be greeted with the sound of a toilet flushing for the fifth time is absolutely priceless.
Oh, and in one of these videos is my absolute favourite prank call line ever.
Caller: Hi George! I've got a question
George: Well I've got an answer.
C: How, how tall are you? Because it's hard to tell while you're sitting down.
G: I'm Six One.... Read More
C: Really!?
G: Yes really.
C: Wow! I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
This is just proof I am a bad person. I am laughing at this man's bad fortune, but honestly he seems to deserve it.
Who is this man? Why is he so obnoxious on TV, and why does he receive so many horrible prank calls?
Say hello to Gorgeous George. Please feel free to look at more of the videos about him.
Basically Gorgeous George is like a TV version of Kyle Sandilands but with poor pronunciation (if you're not Australian, you wouldn't know who Kyle Sandilands is. You are one of the lucky ones). I really should not be laughing so hard at all the prank calls, especially since most of them are just people shouting "fag", but some of them... Some of them just have me crying with laughter. I don't know why, but for some reason hearing Gorgeous George shout at the TV 'Alright, time for another call! Line one, you're ont he air' and be greeted with the sound of a toilet flushing for the fifth time is absolutely priceless.
Oh, and in one of these videos is my absolute favourite prank call line ever.
Caller: Hi George! I've got a question
George: Well I've got an answer.
C: How, how tall are you? Because it's hard to tell while you're sitting down.
G: I'm Six One.... Read More
C: Really!?
G: Yes really.
C: Wow! I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Upcoming attractions part 3
1.
Oh shit. This made me nerdgasm so hard I came my god damned SOUL.
Bioware, I take it back, I take it all back. I have had bad experiences with MMOs, they don't mesh well with my playstyle, and KotOR 2 left me with a bad taste in my mouth, but now...
Not only have you turned me from "meh, not sold" on The Old Republic, but you've turned me from a die-hard Jedi player, to the Dark Side.
Seriously, Mr Lucas? Retire. Let Bioware make your movies and TV shows. If you turned that trailer into a 90 minute movie, I would die a happy man.
2. MONKEY ISLAND 5.
What more do I need to say. MONKEY ISLAND 5. Seriously, if you are not already excited, there is something wrong with you, or you were born in the 90s.
Best of all, it's being done by Telltale games. Not sure who they are? They're a collection of ex-LucasArts employees who were around during the hey-day of Point and Click adventure games. They've already released two Sam and Max games.
Like the Sam and Max games, this Monkey Island game will be released episodically. Once a month about a fifth of a game will come out. You can either play them as they come (if the Sam and Max episodes were an indicator, they're good stand-alone), or wait for them all and play it at once.
I'm excited.
Oh shit. This made me nerdgasm so hard I came my god damned SOUL.
Bioware, I take it back, I take it all back. I have had bad experiences with MMOs, they don't mesh well with my playstyle, and KotOR 2 left me with a bad taste in my mouth, but now...
Not only have you turned me from "meh, not sold" on The Old Republic, but you've turned me from a die-hard Jedi player, to the Dark Side.
Seriously, Mr Lucas? Retire. Let Bioware make your movies and TV shows. If you turned that trailer into a 90 minute movie, I would die a happy man.
2. MONKEY ISLAND 5.
What more do I need to say. MONKEY ISLAND 5. Seriously, if you are not already excited, there is something wrong with you, or you were born in the 90s.
Best of all, it's being done by Telltale games. Not sure who they are? They're a collection of ex-LucasArts employees who were around during the hey-day of Point and Click adventure games. They've already released two Sam and Max games.
Like the Sam and Max games, this Monkey Island game will be released episodically. Once a month about a fifth of a game will come out. You can either play them as they come (if the Sam and Max episodes were an indicator, they're good stand-alone), or wait for them all and play it at once.
I'm excited.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Worst segue's ever
In place of actual geeky content I had to think about, here is a list I came up with in twenty minutes. Enjoy.
These are those conversation segue's that can never lead in a good direction. Seriously, NONE of the possible topics of conversation these can transition to, are good.
1. On the topic of Alpaca's...
2. Oh, speaking of police brutality...
3. Since you mentioned horendous smells...
4. While we're discussing onomatopoeia...
5. Yeah, talking about your stupid habits...
6. On the subject of bad news...
7. While we're talking about how horrible this week has been for you
8. Oh, talking about your dead pets...
9. Hey, talking about shitty remakes of your treasured childhood memories...
10. Now that you mention pregnancy...
11. ... and that scar leads me neatly into this next topic...
12. Oh, as long as the topic of your toothbrush is up, I should let you know....
13. ... and speaking of lawsuits, you remember that dude you pissed off?
Actual posts coming soon.
These are those conversation segue's that can never lead in a good direction. Seriously, NONE of the possible topics of conversation these can transition to, are good.
1. On the topic of Alpaca's...
2. Oh, speaking of police brutality...
3. Since you mentioned horendous smells...
4. While we're discussing onomatopoeia...
5. Yeah, talking about your stupid habits...
6. On the subject of bad news...
7. While we're talking about how horrible this week has been for you
8. Oh, talking about your dead pets...
9. Hey, talking about shitty remakes of your treasured childhood memories...
10. Now that you mention pregnancy...
11. ... and that scar leads me neatly into this next topic...
12. Oh, as long as the topic of your toothbrush is up, I should let you know....
13. ... and speaking of lawsuits, you remember that dude you pissed off?
Actual posts coming soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)