- 36. I've always wanted to get a T-shirt that says, in Latin "Ask me about Grim Fandango". If anyone ever came up to me and asked about Grim Fandango, I would ask them why they bothered learning a dead language, and what was going through their mind when they thought "Hey, this would be a good plan". I would then feel jealous, since I've always wanted to know Latin.
Let me say something that will make me either shunned or celebrated among geeks everywhere. Everyone has an opinion, and it's nearly always the dichotomy view of A or B, there is no AB, aB or Ab.
I LIKED the new Transformers movie. As it is, even with the generous support of car companies it cost 120+ million dollars. That is a HUGE amount of money. A Fleich-tonne. You know what would have taken even more money? If the Transformers had had more time on screen. As it is it successfully carried across how huge and powerful these alien machines were. Let's look over some of the many complaints I've seen leveled at it.
1. Too much human stuff, not enough Transformers.
A. It is much easier to empathise with the humans then with giant alien robots. The Transformers cost ENORMOUS amounts of money to computer animate. They took HOURS to animate even one frame. The only way the movie could have been entirely about the Transformers is if they either made the Transformers look incredibly bland and supernatural with their transformations, or if they deliberately made the movie have a loss.
2. The Transformers look too different
A. Look at the cartoon. The Transformers don't actually transform, they just Morph. Their shapes only vaguely correspond with each other. Try putting that in the movie without it looking ridiculously stupid. I once saw someone put an animation test on youtube showing how Optimus Prime looked fine translating from the cartoon to computer animation. He really, really, didn't.
3. My favourite Transformer wasn't in it
A. Neither was mine (Sideswipe, the king of everything). But in general they could only fit so many transformers into the movie. Stay tuned for the sequel.
4. It's just a pro millitary vehicle
A. They had three options. 1. Don't get the millitary involved. Considering the movie is about Alien Lifeforms practically invading Earth and copying the looks of alot of military vehicles, that's not going to happen. 2. Film the military stuff without military support. The movie cost enough as it is, trying to film military sequences without military support would skyrocket the costs. 3. Film the military stuff with military support, and avoid making the military look like idiots. The lesser of three evils. Hell, real life gives the military bad enough press, might as well allow them this fictional victory.
5. Transformers? More like BAYformers! amirite?
A. No. No you are not, and don't try to pressure Ms Ami Rite to support you.
6. Shia LaBouf sucks.
A. I actually liked his performance in this movie. It was different to the "He's a strong and tough kid who is strong and tough when he needs to be". He nearly pisses himself when the Cops he thought would help him turn out to be a giant robot interrogating him. He does the right thing in the end, but he's not the emotionless warrior, he's just the guy with a strong sense of moral right caught up in something bigger then him. I haven't seen him in many other movies, but I'm willing to bet he plays a similar character in all of them. Meh, he plays it well, and I enjoy seeing it on screen, so I like it.
With all that said, is it a perfect movie? God no. My chief complaint.
Why did they kill JAZZ!? Of all the Transformers to kill, he was the stupidest choice.
A. If you're trying to show how incredibly powerful Megatron is (which I'm assuming is the purpose, since they also showed Optimus casually killing a huge Decepticon, Bonecrusher), why would you choose the second smallest Autobot on the team? Surely Megatron picking on the little guy doesn't seem as threatening as if he casually walked through the firepower Ironhide was putting out, then blew his head off with one blast. THAT would make Megatron threatening.
B. Of all the Transformers you could kill... of all the options available... You choose the BLACK one. C'mon guys. We're past this, aren't we? Seriously, do I have to say it?
C. He seemed like he'd been glossed over the entire movie. Ironhide has enormous guns and quotes old movies, then he does a god-damned Rocket-jump. Rachet gets to do an awesome flip thing against the tank, gets high on electricity and comments on Pheremone levels. Jazz calls humans 'little bitches' while breakdancing, copies Kup's move against the tank, and dies. He doesn't even get a close up, like every other Autobot did. It was like they included him just because they were expected to include Jazz, and so they had someone to kill off.
The worst thing? There are many ways it would be possible to bring him back in the next movie, but chances are they'll bugger up how they do that, making it seem like his death meant nothing, and setting a bad precedent regarding death in the movies.
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