Less Common Nerd passtimes 1

Less Common Nerd pass times 1
AKA: "I move my models the length of my penis towards your models"

... So there I was, wrists handcuffed together, the person who'd put them on me passed out with their police uniform in disarray, and a train coming down the tracks towards me. It was that day I decided never to attend another bachelor's party.

• 46. I have an ambition one day to go to five different psychics and ask them about my future, just to see how different all their predictions will be. Then I can laugh and quote predictions that happen to be true, when they occur.

If you are a true nerd, you have at LEAST heard of board-war-games. Among the best known are the Games Workshop series, but there are many other examples (Battletech, Heavy Gear, even Risk can be considered one on the outside, although it lacks in one of the more common aspects).

These consist of games in which two or more individuals line up models they have spent hard earned money on and painstakingly assembled and painted to a degree they are content with, then move those models across a tabletop, measuring out certain distances (or counting out 'squares' or 'hexes') to determine if models can damage one another. They then continue this for several hours (some epic games can take a full day to complete) until a winner is declared.

I can understand how this is good for many nerds like myself. It combines three of the most desired requirements for a hobby into one single activity.

1. Singular activity: Assembling, painting and preparing models (not to mention assembling the required rules for an army of them) is not something usually done in a social setting, since it would distract from the delicate work. This is a hobby that can be done by oneself, meaning when a nerd is bored at home they can just start on their hobby in their own time.

2. Group activity: It requires the hobbyist to get together with others of similar interests to get the full enjoyment out of the activity. This encourages the geek away from solely insular activity, where they can be social and enjoy the company of others of similar interests, comparing thoughts on the issue.

3. Competitiveness: Let's face it, we're geeks, we want to be good at what we do. These games allow for direct competitiveness. Your little plastic men against the other guy's little plastic men. This CAN inspire a negative competitiveness (look up 'rules lawyering' or 'munchinism' to learn more about that) but in general, alot of people take it all in good humour, trying their hardest to win, but being graceful in defeat.


With all this in mind, why do I not do it?

I dunno, to be honest. It just bores the bejebus out of me. I don't know what it is about the activity, but I could never get deep into it. The grand narratives of most of them don't interest me as much, and a majority of the time you need to be more competively minded then I am capable of. I read rules, I learn basic strategies. Only in games like the Total War series am I capable of formulating more competitive strategies. It's somewhat disconcerting when it takes months to learn to assemble/paint models well, and even then unless you have a natural talent with it you'll be getting the crap rolled out of you with every game.

It just never grabbed me.

P.S. I'm not a fan of Games Workshop in general.

P.P.S. Heavy Gear is awesome. Mix of RPG and Strategy-war game. Give it a look-see if you're into that kinda thing.