Post 101: When blogging goes wrong.

A conversation I once overheard (without exageration)
"Yeah, we got together and hired a hooker to do lines off her stomach."
"You do realise that's not what they're for, right?"
"We couldn't afford that."
Which raises questions of how they afforded the lines in the first place.

• 67. Over the past few months I have been regularly using weights and an exercise bike to try and get into some semblance of physical fitness. Today I weighed myself and was disappointed to find I weigh the EXACT same I did when I first started. Seriously, to the kilogram. Then I checked myself out in the mirror, and realised I could see a little muscle showing in a previously quite soft physique. I am ashamed to say my first reaction was "Yeah, I'd do me if the lights were out and I was lonely."

Without noticing, I snuck past the 100 post mark yesterday.

It feels like there should've been some kind of celebration, but after hitting 'publish post' there was a distinct lack of streamers, cheering audiences, alcohol, illicit substances or hookers (preferably not all at the same time).

So, having passed the magical 100 post mark in my blog, which has been going since the 11th of July (wow, nearly half a year), most posts attempting something that can be approximated to entertainment and/or wit, how do I celebrate this momentous occasion?

My 101st post has two references to drugs and prostitution.

Bugger.

Well, a couple of miscellaneous points today.

1. Having seen 'The Last Samurai' I have to say it is a movie that is best watched with a mocking commentary. But since it doesn't exist, it must be provided by the audience. I wish I was watching it with other people, since then someone genuinely amusing could have been providing witticisms, rather then my abortive attempts, a sample of which is recorded below.

A) Upon bursting out in drunken laughter at something offensive said by the disliked superior officer: "Man, we all have such a great time, huh? I mean, we need to do this more often."
B) When the Samurai's son is getting his hair cut off: "Not my hair, it's the source of all my power, noooo!" "Actually that's Samson." "Oh, really? Well just trim it WAY back then, it keeps getting in my eyes."
C) When wearing the armour for the first time: "How does it fit?" "A little tight in the groin. Aha ha! Just kidding, there's plenty of room for my below average willy."
D) When not withdrawing until after the canons have started blowing apart Samurai: "So we're just supposed to stay here, huh? We couldn't have run off after the first volley missed?"
E) When being told that the battle in which the Samurai are basing their strategy on ended in death for the entire defending force: "You couldn't have told me this BEFORE, huh?"

2. There's little more awkward then taking an instant dislike to someone after a conversation with them, then when meeting up with others hearing them talk positively about the person, moments before you were about to speak up about how they annoyed you. That happens, your only real response can be "Well. Bugger."

3. Currently working on a new possible comic book proposal, rather then doing things that'll actually affect my life. Without giving away details, I'll just say this: Comic fantasy is a goldmine.