Random bag of bagginess +3

I stubbed my big toe today. That's not even slight-grin worthy until you realise what I stubbed it on. The heel of my other foot. That's it, laugh it up people, I injured myself with myself. Second time I've done it (although the first time was more serious. Dislocated my kneecap turning around).

• 87. Every now and then a guy reaches a moment when they discover what sort of person they really are, as they instinctively react to something in front of them. It can be trying to stop a mugging without thinking of it, rushing to the aid of someone in a car crash, or whatever. One of those moments happened to me lately. Someone I had never met told me he'd been "cougar'd" (that is, slept with a 'cougar', an older woman sexually interested in younger guys). I high-fived him without even stopping to think.

1. If anyone who knows me is reading this blog and struggling to think of a christmas present, I have the perfect one. http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/b34a/ Yes, it is an Ice Cube tray that dispenses Tetris ice cubes. I don't really use ice cubes much. But I wants it. I wants it so bad it is a hole in my heart.

There was a wound deep inside of me which I could not speak of, for I had not the words to describe it. But, now I can, for the salve is close at hand.

That salve is tetris ice cubes.


2. http://www.flickr.com/photos/chick_contender/3116732665/
When I move out, that is how I shall be celebrating my christmas'. You know, I was once talking to someone over MSN, and sent them a link to this (http://www.argos.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductLargeImagePopup?storeId=10001&jsparm=true&imageName=256-0816933SPA69UC452823X.jpg&imageText=), and they said they didn't get it.

They DID NOT GET IT.

I weep for a civilisation in which people do not know of the Daleks. When they are unleashed upon us, we'll have nothing but a huge number of people shouting "Ha! They're no threat, they can't even go up stairs!" before getting x-ray beamed to death.

3. Looking back on my blog, I thought I'd do an introspective over the number of visitors I've received. It was in that time I looked at the search terms that often arrive at my site, some of which I really... have no explanation for.

A) Zendulo. Three people got to this site searching her name. I am so sorry she's not actually here. I know, I know, it sucks. I'd get her to guest post otherwise, and use that as an excuse to get her to give my blog a shout-out on her youtube channel. Check her out if you haven't already, just google the name 'Zendulo', and prepare to meet the ultimate hot nerdy girl.

B) Andy Garcia. I was stumped until I remember mentioning him once in a post about movie commentaries. But still... how desperate do you have to be for some Garcia if you're willing to go THIS FAR down the Google listings to find some? And how disappointed must you be when you hear me saying he's as charming as a lump of wood. ... Crap, I hope I don't have a Garciamaniac hunting me down now.

C) Ashamed being geek. ... My brother(/sister), I feel for you. If you ever need comfort in your lonely times, wondering if perhaps you World of Warcraft too much, I am here for you. Shoot me an email (it's somewhere here), and I will help you through the worry and self doubt that comes with knowing too much about what Armour Class is.

D) Blizzard Overrated. ... Wow, I just checked, and my post on that subject is in the top page of the google results. Either my blog is moving up in the world, or it's just a subject NO ONE else is talking about.

E) (Withheld). I won't say what it is, but one google result that did end in someone getting to my blog is a porn site. It's a porn site refering to nerds, but still a porn site. Man, that guy was searching for a specific site name looking for geekporn and he got to my blog instead. I feel so sorry for you, dude. Hopefully you found what you were looking for elsewhere.

(DISCLAIMER: I had to google it myself to find out what it was. And no I didn't join the site. Let's face it, you can find whatever you need free on the internet, anyway)

F) Reached the height of boredom. Man, now I wish I'd named my blog that. It fits so well.


4. Talking about http://xkcd.com/525, I do this. I genuinely do it. Or every now and then when walking past something that MIGHT be a secret camera, I look at it with a knowing smile.

5. I recently drank approximately 20+ standard drinks worth of scotch in one sitting, over a period of 8 hours, and apparently other then laughing alot, I seemed fine. I am enormously proud of this achievement. Just to put this in context.

1 midi of beer = 1 standard drink
1 Schooner of beer = 1.2 standard drinks
1 glass of wine = 1-1.2 standard drinks
1 shot of spirits = 1+ standard drinks (dependant on the spirit, some may be less then 1 standard drink).

So this was the equivilent of 2.5 shots an hour, one every 24 minutes, for a whole working day.

I was immensely proud of myself, until I realised a horrible truth this reveals. I am an expensive drunk. This is a BAD thing. If you want to get 'fun' drunk over a long period of time, you want to be a cheap drunk, so all you need is a little self control and a single bottle of spirits (probably shared with another cheap drunk) to last for a full day. If I want to accomplish something similar, it'll take me WAY more.

I trained my liver way too effectively.


6. I brought in 2009 with a plastic cup of scotch in one hand, and a $10 cigar in the other. God-damned I was classy.