Sunday, November 30, 2008

Booyah! Lance to the face!

Failed invention number 16A7: Crotchless chastity belt.

  • 56. For me, things like movies and books are escapism. That's why I dislike reading or watching movies based on real life events. Yes, I know it's amazing that this stuff "Actually happened!" but I read books and watch movies because I want to avoid things that "actually happen".

Ever heard of the game "Mount and Blade". No? No surprise. It's an Indie title. I have a sneaking suspicion I've at least mentioned it before, but I'll do so again, 'cause I'm a maverick, see?

Go download the demo. Part of me wants to see it done in a big studio, but part of me knows that would ruin alot of it.

There is something unbelievably awesome about ordering your 30 infantry and 20 arches into a specific formation and leading a group of 20 cavalry on a charge into the middle of the enemy formation to buy your troops time to prepare themselves. Lances slash through the middle ranks, bodies propelled into the air by the force of the impact. Your own lance impacts heavily with the enemy commander, smashing him off his horse. To your right a spear-point thrusts up and catches one of your men at arms in the shoulder, knocking him out of the saddle and leaving him still upon the ground. Your horsemen start getting bogged down, you can see it as you lay out left and right with your bastard sword. With a mighty roar you shout for your horsemen to flee back to the formation. You take with you a bare half of the soldiers that made the charge, but in your wake as your men gallop off lay twice that number of broken infantry.

The enemy cavalry give chase. Just as they're starting to catch up, outnumbering your men two to one, you crest the hill and a hail of crossbow bolts fly past, narrowly missing you. To your right you see a mounted knight taking a bolt to the head and collapse out of the saddle, the horse continuing at it's gallop, unaware it's owner is no longer a factor. You shout for the cavalry to follow you and you turn, slashing through the mere fraction of the previously pursuing horsemen, finishing them off just in time to see the infantry of the enemy crest the hill, another hail of bolts welcoming them.

Your horsemen gallop behind your lines, you in tow. You watch as the enemy numbers wittle away as they advance, shields catching most of the incoming projectiles but not enough of them. By the time they make it to your infantry, it's only three of them for every two of you.

Perfectly fine odds.


Do I have too much time on my hands? God yes.


P.S. Just what IS the Facebook ettiquette? Can you just add ANYONE? Someone I don't know throws their Facebook stuff up in a public place (not just a public place, but an announcement place), would it be rude/weird to Friend-request them?

Hell, I don't even like Friend-requesting people I know. I feel all weird, not sure if I'm just supposed to add people I've bumped into, or what. I know I've brought this up before, but it's an agonising question for me. I see people I know on Facebook, but I don't know if I should add just everyone. After all, I'm a Faceboslut, I update my status at everything.

"Stephen Richard has an itch"
"Stephen Richard is aching in places he didn't know were supposed to ache"
"Stephen Richard thinks he's done this joke before, but he doesn't cause, since he's a maverick see."
"Stephen Richard is comfortable in talking in the third person."

No comments: