Fast zombies suck

Edit: Additional: Unrelated to the below. Remember how I stated "Anyone who can complete the mission 'Occupation of Arteria Carpal' (or whatever it's called) is a freak". I must amend that. "Anyone who can complete that mission without ENORMOUS DIFFICULTY" is a freak. Since I kinda just finished it. With an A rating.


It's taken me months, if not years, but I've finally worked out why no movie with fast zombies has impacted on me as much as slow zombies.

Long term readers (or reader, possibly, this isn't a big blog) know of my fear of zombies. One of the main factors of that fear is the fact that when you get killed by zombies, you don't just die, you get dragged down and torn apart, eaten in front of your dying eyes. A horde of the bastards holding you in place as scrabbling fingernails and teeth rip at your flesh with an inevitable slowness you cannot hold back.

Consider the movies with fast moving zombies, primarily Dawn of the Dead (remake) (note, 28 days/weeks later is a good movie, but it is NOT a zombie movie, reasons later). In that movie we saw almost no one get genuinely pulled down and eaten. There were hints that the stupid security guard had that happen, but even what we saw was more like the savaging of dogs then the relentless feast of the undead. Fast zombies lack one of the primary fears of Shambling zombies, so they just lose points with me. Sure, in a purely practical sense it'd be better to be facing a horde of slow zombies then a horde of fast zombies, but they lack one of the primary fear inducers for me.


Now, as for why 28 days/weeks isn't a zombie movie? Even avoiding the semantical differences of "It's a virus, not the evil undead" (which doesn't work, since plenty of zombie stories rely upon the idea of zombism being spread through a virus), the reason is the effect of the zombification. Zombies have a specific terror-inducing purpose, to devour you. The 'Rage'd in 28 D/W are just there to inflict harm by any means, with the possibility of infecting you. It's more like an out of control riot then a zombie invasion.

Don't get me wrong, great series of movies, just not zombie movies.