Where is the fun?

A long time ago, I managed to win a copy of Painkiller (which I still haven't installed) by sending a letter to a PC gaming magazine proposing one entirely radical idea.

(Note: I often make an attempt to keep this blog child-friendly on the off chance my mother stumbles across it, but in this case I'll make an exception since I'm angry and thus allowed to say naughty words).

That idea was: Games should be fucking fun.

Obviously I didn't use that precise language, but the emphasis was there.

It came when I read in an article one of their contributors defending a games developer who uttered the line "It's not about having fun".

Yes, yes it is you twonk, it is all about having fun. Having fun is the entire purpose of the exercise. These are GAMES, not work, not torture, not an arduous trial. Were games not about having fun, then Microsoft Word can be assured it will reign supreme as the most interactive sandbox game since cavemen started scrawling on walls.

Games, even the ones that aren't bright, cheerful and colourful, even the ones about tough grizzled generic badarse soldiers in armour so heavy it has it's own in-flight movies, should be about FUN.

Let's look at some of the many methods in which a game can be fun

1. "Ha ha! Running over that octegenarian was great" fun: Random hilarious mayhem, bringing a disbelieving grin and laugh to the faces of many a person as they see the pedestrians they hit go careening off into the sunset.

2. "Man, I am so smart" fun: The pleasure of outwitting the computer or another opponent, battling hard and coming out on top.

3. "Dude, that was awesome, good game" fun: The enjoyment from battling (not necessarily defeating) an opponent in a test of skill (rather then merely random numbers), utilising all the tricks and tactics you know.

4. "Holy crap, that was amazing" fun: Watching something so amazing happen in the game that you're almost awestruck.

5. "Oh my god, I cannot believe we did that" fun: The feeling of accomplishment for having done what feels like the impossible, even if everyone else who plays the game manages it as well. It still FEELS awesome.


The moment you bastards start making a game a chore is the moment I will switch off. I have enough chores in real life, I don't need a game to add more. So please, developers, publishers, beta testers, bug fixers, programmers, all people involved in making games, pay attention to this.

1. MMOs, make the fighting feel epic, rather then hack slash click.

2. RTS', make the fight feel like a true battle rather then a skirmish (or in some cases, a pub brawl with wizards. Yes, I'm looking at YOU Blizzard.)

3. RPGs, if I'm playing an RPG, I want to feel like something epic is happening. If getting from one point to another feels like I'm picking up a second job, then I will resign.

4. Everyone, instant unstoppable death is never good gameplay.

5. Bug fixers, find out about all the bugs and FIX them. If I'm playing an RPG and my super mega axe of cut'off'ur-arse vanishes from my inventory, your game is rapidly being uninstalled.

6. Publishers, if a game development company says they need more time to finish the game, give it to them. You'll make more money in the long run if the company has a reputation for putting out quality software at a slower rate (looking at you, Valve) then you will if you force out buggy shit that doesn't have half the

7. Obsidian Entertainment: Fall in a pit you can't climb out of and die from a yeast infection.