Sunday, February 15, 2009

Statements that never precede a good idea

You get two posts today, since over the next week I shall be posting infrequently. Despite this supposed 'bonus' it is really just a short post, with the meaty part of it stolen verbatum from a bunch of people I was drunkenly talking with friday night/saturday morning (it all blended together).

There are a number of phrases in the English Language that often are used to precede an idea or plan on how a number of individuals should spend their time. Among these phrases there are some that have, throughout the history of human endeavour, NEVER proceeded a 'good' idea. Here are a smattering of them.

1. "First, we'll have some shots, then..."
Any plan that requires a standard drink of alcohol down the throat in the space of two seconds before undertaking is bad. No arguement.

2. "OH MY GOD! I just had the best idea ever!"
'Oh my god' never proceeds 'good'. The best you can do with 'Oh my god' is shock and surprise. And the need to exagerate your plan so it is the 'best idea ever' just states that you're needing to overstate it's case.

3. "Dude! You know what we HAVE to do?"
"Stop you there before you start outlining an evening ahead that will get us arrested and/or lubed in an uncomfortable place that shouldn't NEED lube?"

4. "We'll have a quick nap now, then wake up in a few hours and..."
If you require a nap before proceeding to phase two, you're tired enough that you won't wake up in a few hours. This is one of the less 'bad' prefix phrases, since this is unlikely to end in catastrophe.

5. "You know what?"
No plan that ever relied upon in-depth knowledge of an indefinate conceptual item in language is worth doing.

Edit: Pix is a smartarse

1 comment:

Pixelation said...

Awesome, very funny, but it should be 'precede.'