Phallus monster vs Rastafalien

Today I passed a threshold of nerdom. I experienced geek rage. Someone was WRONG on the internet, and I felt the overwhelming compulsion to correct them.

• 73. Given the option of the Matrix or the real world, I'd go with the Matrix. And not just because I could do kick-arse high kicks in the Matrix.

One or two people raised the question since I brought it up last blog post, so I'll definitively answer it here.

Predator kicks the Alien's arse up and down the street all week, leaving nothing behind by shattered carapace and acid burns. A Predator is, at worst, a LITTLE weaker then the Alien (unlikely, judging by the bulk difference) in sheer strength. But he has advanced tactics, equipment and weaponry on his side.

However, this is an inaccurate representation of a genuine fight for three reasons.

1. It would NOT be "Alien Vs Predator." It would be "Aliens vs Predators", and there are always a crapload more Aliens then Predators. The Alien's advantages are numbers and surprise. A cunning Predator can counter surprise, but Numbers will be what gets them in the end.

2. Variety. Take any two Predators, and they will be different. Take any two Aliens (of the same Xenotype, at least. We'll say human-based Aliens, for ease here) and they will be exactly the same. This is both a strength and weakness for both sides. On one hand the uniformity of the Aliens means there's no real weak point in them, they're all equally dangerous. On the other hand, the Predator's variety means that some of them may be more of a liability in the fight then an asset (novice hunters, for example), while others may be able to more then pick up the slack. Case in point, look at the Predator in AvP2. That dude was an experienced hunter who kicked all sorts of arse.

3. There is rarely reason for a stand-up fight between the two. Predators generally just want to hunt a few Aliens, get some trophies, and leave. Aliens just want to protect the hive, normally (though occasionally I can imagine them trying to capture a Predator so they can get a strong host). This means the most you're likely to get is a couple of Aliens ambushing the one Predator, though normally the Predator would pick his fights better.