I feel Blizzard is overrated.

Two men walk into a bar. One of them turns to the other and says "Didn't we have a third guy?" They go outside and look, and see their friend just now walking up to the bar. "Where did you go?" "Sorry mates, I got lost and went into the bar next door. They've got a naked priest, a talking horse, and a twelve inch pianist. Crazy stuff."

• 76. I have lost weight since getting a semi-regular exercise routine. Actually, no, that's a lie. I weigh the exact same as I did three months ago. I just look skinnier, and that's worked out from photo comparison rather then subjective assessment. I don't know where this god-damned weight has gone. It alarms me. Has it all migrated to my arse?

I am going to say something now that will potentially get me kicked out of all circles of nerdom. It will shock, amaze and stun you all.

I do not like the -Craft series of games. Warcraft, Starcraft or World of Warcraft. I tried playing Starcraft, I tried Warcraft 3, and I even tried a trial of World of Warcraft. None of them had any appeal to me.

Starcraft felt too detached to me. It never felt like a cinematic experience, involving, or tense, which are things I love in RTS'. Even in what should be a dramatic and tense strategic moment, it felt like I was just clicking the mouse, rather then directing a battle. What should've been enormous sweeping engagements of marines attempting to mow down hordes of dog sized alien organisms before being engulfed in a wave of destruction and sharpness felt like pixels going through programmed routines without excitement.

When I played Warcraft 3 it felt like they just took the most annoying parts of RPGs and threw them into an RTS designed for rapid fire playing instead of any involvement. I can understand how that would be a requirement for online play (where losing a 2 hour long game to someone dropping out would suck immensely) but it's not the sort of RTS I enjoy. Not to mention the same problems Starcraft had.

World of Warcraft, from what I experienced, was designed as a timesink, not a game. It never grabbed me, and the average player I encountered treated it more like a job rather then entertainment, which genuinely scared me.

Is it any wonder then when I click on links for the upcoming Starcraft 2 that all I feel is... unenthused?

I watched the 'battle report' linked to on Ctrl-Alt-Del (some of the comics are amusing), here http://www.starcraft2.com/features/battlereports/1.xml. At no point did I feel any interest. The over-the-top excited commentary sounded as ridiculous as getting similar commentary on a game of chess. The combat looked uninspired, the graphics looked subpar, the gameplay seemed boring and too hurried, while the map looked like a collection of drab primary colours layed over a height-map.

Count me out of this 'gaming revolution'.

Call me when they make a Transformers MMOFPS, a Heavy Gear or Mechwarrior RPG, or a Sandbox Fantasy game with the 'Director' from Left4Dead included.