Saturday, January 10, 2009

Spiderman's webbing makes no sense

World of Warcraft and Zombies are probably two of my least favourite things. To that end, someone sent me this video today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjMiDZIY1bM&eurl=http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=logo


  • 92. I am ashamed I am so geeky that this even qualifies as a post for me. That is a genuine fact about myself.

Warning, this post is going to get very, VERY nerdy. Like, REALLY nerdy. We're talking "If Wolverine fought Spiderman who would win?" nerdy. I know, I'm ashamed of myself. I find myself questioning science facts, I should repeat to myself it's just a comic, I should really just relax (double points to people who get the reference) but this just has been bothering me. Maybe someone can explain it.

Spiderman's webshooting annoys me.

I'm no physicist, I don't know the precise characteristics of proportionally sized spider-web, but something about Spiderman's webbing around town has just annoyed me. Consider this, replent with badly designed diagrams.

This is an out-of-scale Spiderman swinging through a strangely sparce New York City street, from behind. We see him swinging away from the camera, towards the horizon. He has found himself in the middle of the road swinging off into the distance.





In his swinging, he does what he often does and attaches a strand of web to a building off to his right, in front of him. The approximate dimensions of the line are 64x50 (generic length measurement units), so it's 62^2 x 50^2 = (Square root). Roughly rounded, it's 80 (generic length measurements) long. The point his line is attached to is 275 (approx) GLM's off the ground.

Now I want you all to do something for me.




Now consider this. Take a line of anything (string, whatever) and hold one end against the wall, pull the other end away from the wall so it's at a diagonal angle to it, then pull it in one direction parralel to the wall, then release it. The line will fall straight towards the wall. Even if you provide it with some thrust along the parrallel of the wall, it will only move a short distance before physics pulls it down towards the wall it's held to.



But then surely before Spiderman hits the wall, he'll web onto the street opposite, right? That's what I thought at first, then I realised something. On our inferior-two-dimensional-attempted-representational-of-a-three-dimensional-problem (which I'll trademark as ITDAROATDP, or It 'da ro at DP, if you want it phoenetically) I want you to look at something. In being drawn down to the ground, Spiderman is now FURTHER away from the street opposite, and a longer strand of webbing (probably 120 GLM) is needed to attach, which means he'll just drop closer to the ground.

The trouble with Spiderman's "swinging" is that it ignores one of the primary factors in swinging. When you swing, you hit a lowest point, and then go up. In this going up, you can swing from the point you end at, onto another arc. But the lowest point on Spiderman's webbing arcs are, in fact, a brick wall. Literally. So he needs to swing before he's gone past the lowest point up onto a high point again, meaning he's constantly "re-swinging" from a lower point each time he does it.

There are only two ways I can see it even vaguely working.

1. If Spiderman manages to maintain his vertical height by swinging in a horizontal manner, where he does not approach the ground at the furthest point of his swinging, but to maintain this in a manner countering gravity he would have to swing so fast it would be... quite scary.

2. If the web shooters Spiderman used manages to keep him on a vaguely normal vertical height by 'retracting' the web as it's used. That way he just has to keep swinging before what would be the apex to avoid the buildings, but otherwise his distance from the ground is secure. Never heard any mention of this anywhere. The webbing is meant to be elastic-like, but even then that'd just dip it further to the ground as it stretched, rather then pulling him up.

Holy shit, I cannot believe how nerdy I have been.

I need to go watch some sports, drink beer, and optically fondle attractive women just to be allowed to retain my testosterone.

1 comment:

Pixelation said...

Spider strength allows him to pull on it as it's coming down so that he doesn't drop too low?

Maybe he does start slipping down and he has to keep jumping off walls or something.


... I am at a loss.