Eurovision Song Contest semi-finals

As my first post in the 200s, I decided to go non-geeky and share something with you. During the Semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest I kept a running commentary on facebook, and I would like to share it with you now.

Friday Night
8:17
The Armenian entrant's strategy seems to be "get six women on a bed and set it on fire, that'll win it for us."
8:22
Wow. Just saw one eurovision entrant that looked like one of the women was beaten with an ugly stick, then the second woman was beaten with the first woman.
8:25
Bulgaria's male singer has a higher voice than his female backing singers
8:27
"We've got some horrible dancers! This is bad, how can we improve them?" "Put them on stilts!"
8:30
One of Turkey's female backing singers/dancers obviously called in sick, and they had to replace her with the male dance choreographer in a bad silk shirt.
8:32
Iceland had Neil Patrick Harris' evil twin (in a bad suit) as one of the backing singers
8:33
Macedonia thought Bill and Ted was a serious documentary, and as such based their entrant upon them.
8:37
Romania can't decide if they're ballet or Burlesque
8:42
Just saw the entrant from Finland. It looks like Eminem aged twenty years and forgot how to wear a hat
8:51
Attention Portugal. No one should be that happy to play the Ukulele

Saturday Night
7:50
The Latvian entrant dances like he's worried about snipers taking potshots at him. But I suppose he's a Latvian in Russia.
7:51
Either that or he needs to poo. Or he needs to poo AND is afraid of Snipers
7:54
Serbian entrant. Blond afro, yellow jacket, piano accordion, curly shoes. I want to take the piss out of this entrant, but it already takes so much piss out of itself it should die of dehydration
8:04
The Norwegian entrant had a creepy smile. I think he was a pod person
8:13
The male half of the slovakian entrant looks like he was shagging the work experience girl twenty seconds before going on stage
8:16
It took me twenty seconds to realise Denmark was singing in English
8:25
Slovenia forgot she was meant to come out from behind the parchment and be on stage. "I don't want to go out on stage!" "Oh don't be such a baby"
8:26
Hungary. Oh Hungary, you're not fooling anyone by having three women on stage with you. P.S. Dramatic clothing change is pointless if it's done twenty seconds into the performance
8:31
Azerbaijan: Wow. That backup dancer is... quite manish. Very manish, in fact. I would say more, but she looked like she could beat the crap out of me.
8:34
Greek Entrant: "Quick! Turn up the backing singers and synthesizers! We can still hear the main singer!"
8:41
Moldovan entrant: I wasn't on your side until I saw that your backup singer was holding a stick, then you got me.
8:45
Albadian Entrant: Nikki Webster dancing with a FABULOUS gimp, and the "why so serious" backup dancers
8:53
Half naked Centurion dancers, a giant cog containing a revolving wheel containing a ladder being pole danced around by a half naked woman. It can only be the Ukrainian entrant!
9:00
I am so sorry to all your Dutch people out there. You're being represented by a whale with two turntables and a microphone
9:25
And to make the night more depressing, I just wikipedia'd one particularly striking entrant ((one half of the Azerbaijan duet) and found out she's younger then I am. Bugger.


The Eurovision finals coming up tomorrow night. Stay tuned.